FOODE LOG

2855

2009-01-22T11:47:00.000-08:00

9:45 - protein smoothie, 300

11:30 - 1 egg, 1/2 piece cheese, 150 (450)

12:45 - few bites sweet potato, 30 (480)

1:45 - 1 serving organic animal crackers, 1/2 glass organic whole milk, 185 (665)

2:45 - 4 chicken strips, 2 TB BBQ, 1/3 glass milk, 500 (1165)

5:15 - serving pasta (whole wheat rotini, bratwurst, broccoli, feta, marinara), 400 (1565)

7:00 - 1 1/2 servings yam, 1 serving asiago cheese, 1 serving roast beef, glass milk, 750 (2315)

9:30 - skinny cow, 150 (2465)

10:30 - Starbucks milk chocolate grahams (280), glass milk (110), 390 (2855)

2210

2009-01-21T11:46:00.000-08:00

9:30 smoothie, 300

10:40 - blueberry pomegranate trail mix, 175 (475)

1:15 - 2 pieces whole wheat organic bread (240), 2 pieces cheddar cheese (220), 1 T I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Light (50), 1 serving Organic Roasted Red Pepper & Tomato soup (110), splash milk in soup (30), few extra grilled cheese bites (75), 725 (1200)

4:15 - 1/2 serving whole wheat rotini, 3 chicken nuggets, 1/3 piece swiss cheese, 300 (1500)

6:15 - 1.25 servings roast beef, 2 servings yam, 600 (2100)

9:45 - serving of cottage cheese, 110 (2210)

1975

2009-01-20T11:40:00.000-08:00

10:30 am - smoothie [yogurt, nonfat milk, blueberries, oatmeal, protein powder, flax oil], (300), few small bites broccoli with touch of cheese, small fajita style strip of steak meat, (75), 375

1:30 - 1 cup broccoli w/ 1 slice cheddar cheese (130), steak strips(150), 2/3 sweet potato (200), milk (110), 1 1/2 chicken nuggets (60), 650 (1025)

7:15 - 2 small tacos (2 small flour tortillas, about 1/2 cup hamburger meat, 2 TB cheese, lettuce, tomato, 2 TB sour cream/salsa/taco seasoning mix), 1 1/2 servings tater tots, 2 more TB sour cream/salsa/taco seasoning mix, 2 oreos, 800 (1825)

9:30 - skinny cow cone, 150 (1975)

2975

2009-01-17T22:02:00.000-08:00

10:00 am - 2 servings cereal, 1 serving milk, 400

2 pm - plate of appetizers / hors d'ouerves, high estimate (I was really careful and consciously took very little food though I did load up more on the fruit & broccoli rab) 600, (1000)

3:30 - small cupcake, 250 (1250)

5:30 - Cliff bar, 160 (1410)

6:45 - serving cottage cheese, 110 (1520)

7:30 - 1 1/2 servings salmon (500), rice (200), pesto sauce (400), milk (130), 1230 (2750)

9:30 - 1/2 serving vanilla ice cream (75), skinny cow (150), 225 (2975)

Honestly, not bad for having been hungry ALL day again (so annoying!!) and going to a baby shower with lots of tasty snacks. I am honestly in awe of how Christ has changed my heart- I didn't snack at all until food time, and then I carefully only choose one of each item that I really wanted, passing on creamy cheese logs and brie (which I LOVE!), and then I didn't snack at all after that. Plus, I had a vanilla cupcake and the chocolate ones were screaming out my name but I simply ignored them and didn't go for it. Oh, and at the store I could have chosen any number of unhealthy snacky foods since I had a half hour drive to get back to Seattle from the 'burbs, but I chose a high-protein Cliff bar. Honestly, that's the power of Jesus. I can't take credit for it because I tried to be that disciplined on my own power and failed. It's not about behavior modification- it's about heart change, and only Jesus transforms hearts.

I know the calories are a bit over, but honestly it was a good day.

2795

2009-01-16T21:11:00.000-08:00

10:00 - 1 1/2 servings Honey Bunches of Oats w/ Almonds (195), 1 cup milk (110), 305

2:30 - 2 servings corn tortilla chips (300), 2 servings cheddar cheese (250), 1 serving cottage cheese (150), 700 (1005)

4:00 - 3 servings queso (120), 1 serving corn tortilla chips (140), 3 bites Jason's nachos (40), 300 (1305)

8:00 - rice (200), chicken (350), sauce (onion, garlic, chicken broth, pesto, toasted walnuts, feta cheese) (400), 950 (2205)

9:15 - Skinny cow cone, 150 (2355)

11:00 - 1 serving homestyle vanilla ice cream (160), 1 serving graham crackers (130), glass milk (130), 440 (2795)

I was SO hungry today. Seriously. I'd eat and an hour later my stomach would be growling, and it's the end of the week (we grocery shop primarily on Sundays) so there wasn't much food around. I did really pay attention to portion sizes and measured out every serving by grams on my food scale, so even though I ate often it was healthy amounts of food though some of it was not healthy food (nachos). Good day. And I actually am ok with being a little over on calories since yesterday was so low- hopefully it will kind of shock my metabolism and it won't go into long term reserves mode after the horribly low day yesterday.

790

2009-01-15T20:55:00.000-08:00

11:45 - 1/3 lean grilled pork chop, 75

4:30 - 1/4 baked sweet potato, 75 (150)

8:30 - leftover stew (400), small grilled pork chop (150), 550 (700)

10:00 - Dove ice cream bar, 280 (790)

I know, not enough calories. It was an extremely rough day. I can't get into it, but I have to say that I am so incredibly grateful for a loving God and a loving husband who also loves Christ.

The craziest thing is that, after being grossly sinned against in the morning, I completely lost my appetite and couldn't make myself eat. I ran to Jesus and was actually convicted of the sin of not eating. Ouch. Ironic.

And there you have it.

3350

2009-01-14T23:20:00.000-08:00

8:30 am - smoothie [yogurt, nonfat milk, blueberries, oatmeal, protein powder, flax oil], 300

11:30 - 3/4 serving pasta, 1 1/2 pcs cheddar cheese, 2+ cups spinach, few bites of bbq pork, 450 (750)

1:30- 2 servings organic animal crackers, 5 chicken nuggets, bbq sauce, glass nonfat milk, 600 (1350)

3 - 5 animal crackers, 50 (1400)

5:30 - 3 cheese ravioli, 4 chicken nuggets, 2 tb marinara, slice swiss cheese, few tiny bites org whl wheat toast w/ cheddar cheese, 450 (1850)

6:30 - leftover stew (rice, org. tomato/red pepper soup, carrots, zucchini, celery, rotisserie chicken breast), 400 (2250)

10:30 - 2 Big Macs, 1080 (3330)

10:45 - small mint chocolate, 20 (3350)

I've wrestled with what to say about the Big Macs. Do I say nothing? Do I explain it? I'll only say this- at the time it didn't seem like sin. I think that shows how far I have to go. I definitely should have only had one, but Jason wanted two of his own (we were both extremely hungry) and I knew one was enough but it was 2 for $3 so I just did 2. I thought that I was being prayerful about it and trusting God, but the fact that I have been wrestling with the decision for over an hour just shows that it's not that cut and dry. Overall, I'm more concerned with letting Christ teach me and reveal the poor spiritual decisions that I am with the calories, so that's a start.

With that, I will stop. No justifying or over-explaining.

2075

2009-01-13T21:46:00.000-08:00

8:30 am - smoothie [yogurt, nonfat milk, blueberries, oatmeal, protein powder, flax oil], 300

11:45 - 2/3 pulled pork sandwich (homemade in crockpot) & 2/3 slice cheddar cheese, 500 (800)

2:00 -bbq pulled pork on piece of organic whole wheat bread, 1 slice cheese, glass nonfat milk, 400 (1200)

5:30 - 3/4 chicken nugget, few bites of cheese/spinach/pasta, 75 (1275)

7:30 - 1 piece medium pepperoni pizza (didn't eat half the pepperoni, inluding some of the cheese stuck to the pepperoni, or the edge of the crust and some of the actual bread as well), 1 piece medium Hawaiian pizza, small bit o' salad with mixed greens and vinegar based dressing, two small chocolate covered peanut butter balls, 800 (2075)

[Note that Tuesday's are Community Group night; basically, small group Bible study where share a meal and I'm good with eating what's there so long as it's in moderation]

I also exercised today: I went for a 20 minute walk, plus the various up and down stairs and such involved in my normal tasks at my nannying job. I probably burned a solid extra 600+ calories doing those things, including playing the the Brodster. So, overall, good day.

2060

2009-01-12T21:42:00.000-08:00

8:30 - 1 1/2 servings Honey Bunches of Oats, 1 cup milk, 300

12:30 - 1 serving cottage cheese (110), cup o'noodles (300), 410 (710)

3:45 - 2 servings tortilla chips (280), 3 servings queso (120), milk (110), 510 (1220)

7:30 - soup [organic roasted red pepper & tomato soup, rice, rotisserie chicken, carrots, celery, zucchini] (500), 1/2 glass milk (60), 560 (1780)

9:30 - Dove bar, 280 (2060)

2250

2009-01-11T21:50:00.000-08:00

12:30 - 2 eggs w/ 1 serving cheddar cheese (270), 1 serving jimmy dean sausage (180), 2 organic flax waffles w/ strawberries & 1 TB organic raw can sugar & 2 servings lite cool whip (250), glass milk (110), 810

7:30 - few bites turkey (while making dinner / Jason's lunches for the week), 40 (850)

8:00 - 1 1/2 cups rice (300), salmon (140), pesto sauce [pesto (400), pine nuts (150), feta (70), olive oil (40), garlic & onions (20)] (700), milk (110), 1250 (2100)

9:30 - Skinny Cow, 150 (2250)

2630

2009-01-10T21:39:00.000-08:00

I didn't have time to do this yesterday (I'm writing this on Sunday, January 11 though I am editing the date to still show as Saturday, January 10) but I am pretty sure I can remember everything!

8:15 am - 1 1/2 servings honey bunches of oats, 1 cup milk, 300

11:30 - sandwich (turkey, havarti cheese, lettuce, tomato, herb spread), bag kettle chips, 3 grapes and 1 small chunk cantaloupe, 1/2 large chocolate chip cookie (gave rest to Jason! Huge deal for me!), 700 [estimate], (1000)

3 pm - 2 small bites of Jason's chocolate chip cookies, 30 (1030)

7 - rosemary & white bean soup in breadbowl, 1/2 glass milk, 1200 (2230)

8:30 - chocolate chip cookie, milk, 400 (2630)

2485

2009-01-09T22:43:00.000-08:00

11 - 1 1/2 servings Honey Bunches of Oats, 1 serving milk, 450

2 - nachos (chips, hamburger, queso [way too much queso], sour cream, few tomatoes & onions, 1/3 serving refried beans), 850 (1300)

5:30 - bite of husband's cheesy chicken, 20 (1320)

10:30 - Whopper (660), medium fries (gave about 10-15 to Jason) (400), few drinks of husband's Sprite (40), 1/2 glass milk (65) 1165 (2485)

I know that the quality of the food isn't good, but I'm just grateful to have stayed on track and not gone over on calories. And the BK food was totally unintentional-- we were hungry after our church deal and while it wasn't the best choice I knew it was in my calories and I was wise- no cheese, medium instead of large fry, single patty beef, no milkshake, no extra dollar menu burgers (I've been known to do that- large meal, milkshake, extra burger or nuggets or even two... eek). I honestly didn't feel I was sinning or being gluttonous so I feel ok with the choice.

And that's another day of being under on my calories (2,600!) so yay!

2527

2009-01-08T23:30:00.000-08:00

EDIT: I had to add a little to the end because when I went to go to bed a few hours after I posted this I was crazy hungry so I had a snack.

9 - smoothie, 300

11:00 - 1/4 graham cracker, 17 (317)

12:15 - 2 small chicken tenders (no skin or breading) w/ bbq sauce, 200 (517)

4:00 - 1/2 grilled cheese (1 slice swiss cheese, 1 slice whole wheat bread, i can't believe it's not butter light), glass nonfat milk, 2 cups roasted tomato & red pepper soup w/ roasted corn fresh from the cob added, 500 (1017)

5:30 - 4 chicken nuggets, few green beans, couple small bites of cheese, 200 (1217)

8:00 - make-shift chicken parm (2 breaded chicken strips, 6 Kirkland Sig (Costco) ravioli, 1/2 cup Clasico sauce, fresh grated parm), 800 (2017)

11:00 - serving size Dove dark chocolate, 210 (2227)

(technically 1/9 since it was 2:45 am)

2:45 - chips and queso and a few bites of rotisserie chicken, 300 (2527)

2250

2009-01-07T22:47:00.000-08:00

9:00-Smoothie (blueberries, apple, yogurt, protein powder, flax oil, oatmeal, nonfat milk: 300

12 - stir fry 350 (650)

2:45 - PB & J (2 pcs whole wheat toast, 3/4 serving reduced fat PB, 1 serving organic sugar free blueberry preserves) & 8 oz nonfat milk, 450 (1100)

5:30 - 1 chicken nugget, 40 (1140)

7:00 - Nachos ([all amounts one serving or less unless otherwise noted] ground beef (fat drained off), refried beans, onions, tomatoes, 2 servings corn tortilla chips, sour cream, tomatoes, olives, avocado, Tostito's Con Queso) & 1/3 serving milk, 850 (1990)

9:30 - Dove Ice Cream bar, 260 (2250)

Not bad, since my goal is 2,600. Since I went over yesterday this helps balance it out.

And, by the way, I know I need to eat more vegetables. One step at a time, though. I gotta get myself back in the habit of counting calories and reporting EVERYTHING I eat and not just "forgetting" when I have a bad day. Actual content of my diet I'll contend with later.

2735

2009-01-06T22:27:00.000-08:00

9:00-Smoothie (blueberries, yogurt, protein powder, flax oil, oatmeal, nonfat milk: 300

11:45 - 1 1/2 chicken strips, green beans, milk: 350 (650)

1:30 - stir fry w/ rice noodles: 400, (1050)

5 - 1 1/2 chicken nuggets, 2 tiny squares of cheese: 75, (1125)

7 - Rotisserie chicken (leg and thigh), too many freaking mashed potatoes, glass and a half of milk 1400 (2525)

9 - 5 Dove dark chocolates (a serving size), 210 (2735)

Day 12

2008-08-29T13:22:00.000-07:00

12:45 - 2 scrambled eggs w/ splash of milk, 2 TB real bacon bits, 1 slice Tillamook cheddar cheese, 1 pc whole wheat toast w/ butter, glass 2% milk - 500

5:12 - PB & Banana smoothie w/ dbl PB, 1 banana, ground flax & 1 c lowfat organic vanilla yogurt - 750 (1250)

10:45 - Pizza (same as last week except I forgot the spinach- dumb!) (800) & milk (120) - 920 (2150)

12:00 - German chocolate cake & milk - 700 (2850)

Another day decently in range... the cake was a splurge but it was fanfreakingtastic :)

Happy long weekend!

Day 11

2008-08-28T10:28:00.000-07:00

9:15 - Protein smoothie (blueberries, banana, nonfat yogurt, protein supplement) - 250

10:00 - Mutli-grain bagel w/ "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" light - 200 (450)

12:00 - 2 servings Cheerios w/ 1 cup milk - 320 (670)

2:00 - Thai Kitchen Peanut Thai Noodles - 440 (1110)

2:25 - 2 servings Stacy's pita chips - 280 (1390)

5:50 - 1 small whole wheat tortilla w/ 1/2 serving mozzarella & 1/2 serving cheddar cheese - 200 (1590)

8:00 - 1 piece whole wheat bread, 1 TB PB, 1/2 TB strawberry jam, milk - 300 (1890)

10:45 - Spaghetti w/ 2 servings whole wheat noodles, 1/4 jar sauce, 5 oz ground turkey, zucchini, red onion, garlic (750) & 1 piece garlic toast (150) - 900 (2790)

11:30 - 2 fudgesicles - 200 (2990)

Whoops on going over... I didn't add stuff up after the tortilla so I was a wee bit over. It's all good.

I'm too tired to say more. 'Night!

Day 10

2008-08-27T10:17:00.000-07:00

You know the drill-- all amounts 1 measured serving size unless otherwise noted!

8:15 - PB & strawberry jam sandwich w/ two pieces whole wheat bread, 1 cup 2% milk - 560

11:30 - Protein smoothie w/ blueberries, banana, protein supplement & yogurt - 250 estimate (810)

1:30 - Whole wheat tortilla w/ 1/2 serving shredded mozzarella & 1/2 serving 2% shredded cheddar & 3 bites of cold rotisserie chicken - 250 (1060)

2:15 - 3 scallops, 2 oz Stacy's simply naked pita chips - 340 (1400)

7:00 - Cliff bar - 250 (1650)

10:45 - Spaghetti w/ 2 servings whole wheat noodles, 1/4 jar sauce, 5 oz ground turkey, zucchini, red onion, garlic (750) & 2 pieces garlic toast (350) - 1100 (2750)

11:30 - Fudgesicle - 100 (2850)

Today I really worked on getting more calories early in the day as not to go so overboard later in the day, thus the PB & J breakfast :) Also, I remember thinking for the longest time that Stacy's pita chips were gross, yet today I discovered that I LOVE them. So good! So I'll be buying some of those at Costco this weekend.

Later today I'll post the spaghetti I made over on Foode Fight. Also, I meant to eat earlier last night, before Jas got home from this UPS job (he has two jobs, plus he's starting school to get an IT degree next week, plus he's trying to change from his pool job into an IT job, hopefully at the "major software company" in Redmond, plus he's training to lead a community group-- he's one very busy, and hardworking, man) but I stayed at work late and didn't get home until 8 pm, then I wasted an hour on the computer (it wasn't a TOTAL waste- I really needed to update my iPod!) and then caught up cleaning the kitchen. Other than eating late, though, I did a much better job of measuring portions after not doing so for 5 days and I feel good about the calorie count-- I'm pretty happy with anything between 2,400 and 3,000, so long as I mix it up and don't stay down at 2,400 or up at 3,000 for too long. I need to keep my metabolism guessing, thus revved up, which is why I sometimes intentionally have a couple of low-ish days (2,400-2,600) and then can have a higher day at like 3,500 once a week or so. Date night is WAY more fun when you can order something tasty (within reason) from the menu and not stress out about getting a beer later. I only like good beer- hefeweizen or honey wheat- and only have like 1 a month or so, and I don't want to freak out over the calories if it's pushing 3,500, you know? I just want to enjoy life!

Anyway, the Brodster will probably wake up from his nap any minute, so I should hit it :)

Day 5

2008-08-22T17:04:00.000-07:00

Per the (new) usual, all amounts are 1 serving size unless otherwise noted.

12:00pm - Omelette (3 eggs, 1 TB milk, dab o' bacon grease, real bacon bits, red onion, 1 slice cheddar cheese) - 435

7:15 - Top Ramen - 380 (815)

11:30 - 1/4 of big ol' Pizza (homemade whole wheat dough w/ added ground flax seed, ground turkey, BBQ sauce, drizzled ranch dressing, zucchini, spinach, red onion, real bacon bits, mozzarella cheese) (800), chocolate milk (200) - 1,000 (1815)

12:00am - Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk, 2 servings - 600 (2415)

I know I said it before, but right now I'm not tripping over what I'm eating. I'm trying to get in more fruits and veggies, and I don't love having crazy-sodium-tripped-out Top Ramen. It's literally all I have to eat right now, unless I eat cereal 3x a day... no gracias! Things will get better when September comes and our food budget is no longer "bare necessities so we don't starve or bounce checks" :) Anyway, the focus is purely on measuring portion sizes and making them fit into a calorie count for the day between, ideally, 2,600 and 2,800. That said, if I have a bunch of 2,400 days like this week then I won't freak out if I have a day closer to 3,000 or even 3,200, so long as I was measuring portions and not pigging out.

Basically, I need to let spirit control what I eat, not my stomach. I really feel that I can eat whatever as long as I'm able to either stop when the Holy Spirit says "Stop", and so long as it's not something that the Spirit told me not to eat. If I could control portion sizes without measuring and not count calories I would; the only reason I am is because my meter for "normal" and "healthy" is so far out of whack that it would be disastrous. So, with the Spirit's help, I am learning to eat decent. Eventually, when I'm in better shape and have lost weight and such and I hit a plateau I can focus more on what and when I'm eating... right now is just about learning to not eat like a porker.

Anyway.

I have pictures of the pizza so I'll not be lazy and post them for ya's... enjoy and happy Saturday!

This was SERIOUSLY delicious! I'm going to keep experimenting and changing stuff up from time to time, just to keep it wicked tasty :)

Day 4

2008-08-22T16:01:00.000-07:00

I measured serving sizes of everything and the calories are accurate. It's just time consuming to type it all out- trust me that I'm being honest. Since this Log is more for me than anyone it would make zero sense to lie as I'd be lying to myself and that's stupid.

9:45 - Cheerios & milk - 155

11:00 - Peanut sum' sum' Cliff Bar - 250 (405)

1:00 - Risotto w/ chicken & green beans - 200 (605)

4:00 - Other half of risotto - 200 (805)

8:30 - 2 srvngs Honey Bunches of Oats & Milk - 340 (1145)

10:30 - Chicken nuggets on wheat bun w/ BBQ, ranch & red onions; "fries" made from red potatoes sliced into fry size and baked with canola oil sprayed on & Tami Sauce (1 part mayo, 1 part mustard, 2 parts ketchup) - 1100 (2245)

(oops! Have to add this!)

11:00 - Chocolate milk - 200 (2445)

Having half of my calories at dinner wasn't the best idea. But right now I'm not worrying about what I eat or when I eat it, just focusing on portion control and staying within range on calories. I was actually grossly under on my calorie count yesterday, which is lame. I'm also currently extremely under today so I should probably go eat something. I'm going to make sure we get some fresh fruit and work more veggies into next week's meals, and I'm hoping to go to the farmer's market starting in September.

Still, that's day 4 in a row of not overeating and learning to rely on Jesus to enjoy food as a blessing without worshiping my stomach as god. I am very encouraged!

Day 3

2008-08-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

8:30 - 1/2 Bagel (200), 1 TB whipped cream cheese (35) - [235]

9:05 - 1 cup plain Cheerios (110), 1/2 cup nonfat milk (45), bite of chicken mix (5) - 160 [395]

11:35 - 2 TB chicken mix (Costco canned chicken w/ tiny touch of light mayo & lots of pepper) (100), 1 slice Oatnut bread (100), 1 cup nonfat milk (300) - 300 [695]

1:45 - Whole wheat spaghetti, marinara w/ diced tomatoes & portobello mushrooms, 1 TB parm cheese - 400 (1095)

4:00 - Pria bar - 110 (1205)

8:00 - Honey Bunches of Oats & 1/2 cup milk - 200 (1405)

10:30 - BBQ Ranch Chicken Nugget Salad; same as before but with 2 eggs and double bacon and no walnuts - 840 (2245)

11:00 - M & M's, 1 serving - 220 (2445)

Just because I'm seeking to be led by the Spirit and not idolize food doesn't mean I don't still struggle with some level of obsessing over it. A few main things:

1 ) Not feeling like I have to finish something. Last night the onions in our salad were way strong, yet I struggled to push some of them to the side. I know how crazy this is, yet I still struggle with it.

2 ) Not taking bites as I make something. I developed a horrible habit of taking bits and bites of things as I made meals, and the sad thing is that usually I took it from my husband's portion. This is shameful and embarrassing to admit, but I say I was cutting up the chicken nuggets for our salad-- I'd eat a cut piece or two from the ones I cut up for him, but never from my own. Ultimate selfish and piggy habit! But I can say that for 2 days now I have not only not eaten any of my husband's portion but I haven't eaten any bites of the meal before it's time to actually eat!

3) Not eating every last possible drop. I've been known not just to lick my plate (not always, but I have done it) but to use my fingers to scoop out every last bit of food. For example, say we make something like mashed potatoes- I will run my fingers over the sides of the bowl (or an actual spatula/scraper) to not leave anything. This shows how distinctly unhealthy my relationship with food is- I need to know that I ate every single little last bit, whether I had room for it or not. How satisfying is an 1/8th of a teaspoon of scraped mashed potatoes? Physically, not very. But mentally I feel like I need it somehow. Same with food dropped on the floor or counter- I just feel like I have to eat it. Ick. Again, though, I am grateful to say that though the temptation lingers, or I catch myself licking the ranch from the tablespoon I just measured it with before thinking, I'm relying on the Spirit to break this power food has over me.

All of these things have always seemed so normal to me. I wonder if I'm not the only one who does these things? The interesting thing about normal is that if you get ashamed about sharing it-- "normal" and common as you think it is for you, you fear judgment from others-- then even if everyone else does it that maybe the shame is a hint that it's not healthy. Even if every person who reads my blog says all of this stuff is totally what they do (and I doubt it) I still think it proves that food and I have a very dysfunctional relationship.

Think about it- say, if you're married, you demanded every single little last bit of your husband's time, affection, and attention. ALL OF THE TIME. Don't you think it would wear on your marriage? I know it would mine.

Anyway, enough rambling. Day 3 went well.

Day 4, anyone?

Day 2

2008-08-19T23:59:00.000-07:00

8:15 - 1/2 bagel (200), 1 TB whipped cream cheese (35), 1/2 cup milk (40), 3/4 c Lucky Charms (110) - 385

11:15 - Cliff peanut something bar (250) - 635

1:00 - Whole wheat spaghetti, marinara w/ diced tomatoes & portobello mushrooms, 1 TB parm cheese (400) - 1035

2:45 - Pria bar (110), 7 multigrain crackers (70), 1/2 cup milk (50) (230) - 1265

6:15 - Pria bar (110) - 1375

9:30 - Trader Joe's apple bar (140) - 1505

10:30 - BBQ ranch chicken nugget salad- same as yesterday (900) - 2405

11:30 - 1 serving peanut M & M's (220) - 2605

Overall, another good day. I didn't let myself get too hungry (aka weak) and I never overate. I never had the "I'm about to sin" and did it anyway. I did have plenty of moments where I wanted to eat just because (because I was tired or because I wished my husband was home or because the baby was sleeping and I was bored) but I never did.

This is progress.

It's 12:30 am and I am in desperate need of sleep. I just need to keep building on this progress, keep relying on Jesus. I am doing this.

Day 1

2008-08-18T23:41:00.000-07:00

Today went amazingly well. I'll post the cold hard facts and give a (very quick) commentary. Eventually I'll track more than calories, and I'll try to either find a tool to just fill in a grid or I'll create one, so this will be a simple list for now.

2:30 - Bagel (330) & Cream Cheese (70) & 1/2 Banana (50) - 450
9:30 - 1 pc whole wheat bread (100) & Tuna w/ mustard and 1 TB mayo (150) - 250 (700)
10:45 - Salad* w/ loads o' spinach, 1 egg, 1/4 cup walnuts, 1/4 cup ranch dressing, 5 chicken nuggets, red onion, 2 TB "real" bacon bits, 2 TB BBQ sauce - 900 (1600)
Daily Water Total - 64 oz exactly :)

*I measured portion sizes for the salad and wrote it all down and added it up on paper, so just trust me on the calorie total!

First, I didn't wake up until 1:30 because I went to bed at 6:30 am. I won't be doing that again anytime soon, but it was worth getting everything straight to structure discipline into my life!

Second, I know I didn't eat enough, and that things were way too spaced out. I honestly never got hungry and didn't even realize I hadn't eaten in 7 hours and I actually made myself eat the tuna sandwich because I was starting to feel really, really weak (I'm about to post to Foode Fight, but I cleaned the apartment for literally 8 hours straight). Still, my stomach never growled. It was weird.

Third, I know that the food isn't the best... but chicken nuggets were $8 for literally 10 meals worth, and we are eating a lot of those salads... as in M-Th this week and 3x last week. Also, the bagels were a bad idea when we got them two weeks ago, but I am only eating a 1/2 one per day from now on and though it's not the most awesome whole food I'll be staying on top of calories... that's a good starting point for me. I can do portion control & counting calories... I can't do food that makes me want to puke (like balsamic vinegar & olive oil dressing... I like bal vin but not on salad!)

I'm exhausted so that's the end for now :) The good news is that not a single morsel of food passed my lips that isn't on here, so happy day ;)